But that’s the way it is for many of us artists. Look at the sad hungry lives of so many in the entertainment business. I’m not like that… I hope I’m not.
It’s actually quite funny. I have an absolutely amazing life. I’ve been married to my best friend for 32 years. We live in one of the most beautiful areas in the country. Before moving to Boulder, we lived in another beautiful place in California. I have a good job that pays me well, and I’m able to spend countless hours taking and working on photographs.
But there’s this hunger…
Before returning to photography I had a software business. I was pretty successful and was able to live in beautiful and expensive California. But I never really felt that successful because the hunger was still there.
This hunger is really an addiction: a socially acceptable one, but still an addiction. You see so many people famous for power, wealth, talent, looks and you see it’s never enough for them. They always want more.
Is there a cure for this addiction? Like all addictions, the first step is abstinence. The second step, fill your life with what’s really satisfying — Love. Love of lovers, partners, friends, creating art and ultimately seeing ourselves of the source of that love.
Does the hunger go away? It’s still there with me, but I’m able to live with it because I know it’s insatiatable and trying to satisfy it won’t work. Like my increasing age, thinning hair and other things, life still goes on, beautifully so. I have an amazing life. Not the one I dreamed of, but one that’s so much better.
A couple of years before his untimely death, I did a workshop with Galen Rowell. Galen was a fantastic photographer, wonderful teacher and person. He was totally open and willing to share everything he knew with us. From the looks of it, Galen was making a comfortable living selling stock, doing workshops and writing. One day we were there, Galen was informed that one of the photos in his gallery had sold. He was so happy. Even Galen who seemed to lack for nothing wanted that validation. Oh well…