I Confess.

I came of age in the 60s and 70s, the sex, drugs, rock & roll generation, and I did my best to participate in all of it. I had a friend who became addicted to heroin; another friend who took too much acid; but I emerged pretty much intact because I assumed I didn’t have an addictive personality.

Ha. I’m Successaholic. I crave any indication of success, whether it’s praise, sales, acknowledgements, even likes on Facebook. I confess, I posted my last photo to Facebook 40 minutes ago.

I used to have my own software company. I was writing utility programs for Microsoft Windows just when Windows became popular. I had my programs reviewed in all the big photo magazines. I won a few awards. I had my own company with a couple of employees and it still wasn’t enough. I was still hungry. Those of you who are like me know it’s never enough.

Some addicts give up alcohol; some give up drugs. What do I need to give up? I love being out by myself and taking photographs. I love processing them on the computer, even if no one else ever sees them. I don’t have to give that up. I suppose I could not show them anywhere, but I don’t see that solving anything plus the income I make from photo sales pays for cameras, printers and such.

What can be given up is the mistaken belief that outside of some money, success can really give me anything. Success can’t touch the things in life that really matter. And, when you close your eyes to go to sleep at night, you can’t take anything with you. If you try, you won’t be able to fall asleep.

So the way I deal with my successaholism is to go inside and see where the hunger is really satisfied. That doesn’t say that sometimes it still doesn’t grab me and turn my head around.

~ by danbaumbach on March 21, 2016.

2 Responses to “I Confess.”

  1. Nice article Dan. For me, success is living life the way you want to, and not answering to anyone (except my wife, of course).

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